Finding blessing amid overwhelming loss
Personally, this year has been one of the worst of my life, as I have suffered the greatest loss I have ever had to endure. My father departed this world on October 26th, one day after his 83rd birthday. I am profoundly grateful for his life and for all the things that were shared between us—things that ensured nothing was left undone in our relationship by the time he left this world. However, with the most profound of losses come the greatest blessings in the outpouring of love and condolences my family and I have received over the last month. First of all, I want to thank Shirley Mooney and the wonderful folks at Coal Creek Community Church in Galax, who provided us with a beautiful place to hold his celebration of life and the catered reception afterward. My most sincere thanks also go to the Russell County Sheriff’s Office, whose Honor Guard gave Dad the most beautiful military send-off I have ever witnessed. I am eternally grateful to my friends on the Wythe County Board of Supervisors—Stacy Terry and Chairman Brian W. Vaught—for facilitating and decreeing that the Wythe County flag in front of the courthouse be lowered to half-staff on the day before his funeral. That courthouse holds many memories for me, as I often accompanied my dad to work during his years as Chief Deputy of the Wythe County Sheriff’s Office. My dad’s devotion to Wythe County, to every community he served throughout Southwest Virginia, and to High Point, North Carolina, made each of those places better because of his 45 years of duty as a police officer and, most notably, as a police chief in the towns of Pulaski and Vinton. The lowering of the flag was one of the greatest honors bestowed upon his legacy, and it is a gesture our family will always hold dear. Brian—better known as “Cheese” to his friends—even purchased a copy of Herb Cooley: The Law Enforcement Legacy of my Father, the book I wrote in 2016, and placed it in the Sheriff’s Office display case beside other photos of my Dad and his “Elect Herb Cooley” pencil from his 1991 campaign for Wythe County Clerk of Court. That honor meant more to me than I can articulate. I also express my thanks to Mark Sage, Curtis Hawkins, Debbie Adams, Mike Williams, Jimmy Tomlin, and especially Lindsey Cook of WDBJ7, for their newspaper and television coverage of Dad’s legacy. The day I truly grieve will be the day people forget the sacrifices Herb Cooley made to keep the communities he served as safe as possible. The initiatives he instituted continue to help these communities thrive today. So many personal friends have been extraordinarily generous in their kindness toward our family. My dear friends at the Wytheville Moose Lodge #394—of which I am proud to be a member—sent us a beautiful bouquet, and a beautiful card engraved in gold. Jennifer Bilbrey, Elizabeth Paradise, Cindy Fields, Sandra Carty, Teny Underwood, and Anne B. Crockett-Stark all sent money, food, or flowers to our home—a gesture that means more than I can ever express. My very best friends, though, are the people who showed up to my father’s funeral specifically on my behalf: Jacob Sharitz, and Mr. and Mrs. Greg Taylor. Their support throughout this entire ordeal—indeed, throughout my entire life—is one of the greatest blessings I can claim. This does not diminish the hundreds, if not thousands, of condolences I have received in cards, Facebook comments, messages, and heartfelt words from people all over the area who took the time to tell me how much my dad meant to them. I may not have had the opportunity to personally acknowledge every message, but none of them were lost on me. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Even more than these wonderful friends, I am most thankful for the two people on this earth who see me as I truly am—beyond my mangled frame and wheelchair-bound body: my wife, Emily, and my daughter, Bella. Their devotion to me is more than anyone could ever deserve or repay. They are the reasons I can wake in the morning and sleep peacefully at night, knowing I have a life worth living. It is worth living because God placed these two angels in my life. My wife battles many of her own afflictions, including complex PTSD from past trauma and non-compaction cardiomyopathy, yet she is the sole caregiver of an immobile husband with cerebral palsy—one who cannot help her clean the house, buy groceries, or drive our daughter to school. She does all of this and infinitely more, often at the cost of her own physical and mental well-being. There are no words for how much this woman means to me or how precious she is in my sight. My daughter is equally kindhearted and strong in spirit, with the ability to say some of the wisest things I have ever heard from any human being, despite being only eleven years old. She is the joy of our lives and the happiness in my soul each and every day. She makes my broken, blackened heart shimmer with specks of gold. My mother and sister—two women who always brought magic into my life—are now suffering in ways I cannot ease. This year, my sister and I both lost our dogs. Tucker, a Cotoń de Tulear, and Sophie, a Bichon Frise, were not pets; they were our babies. Sophie was my daughter’s sister. And to anyone who dismisses the loss of an animal as mild, I pity that they have never known the kind of love we experienced from our white, fluffy monkeys. They died within a month of each other this past winter at the age of 14, having been with us most of their lives. My dad loved his grand-puppies, and they adored their “Pop.” I know they greeted him at the gates of Heaven, along with his parents and his brother…
